Posts

WITH vs. FOR

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WITHI’ve had an “AHA” moment which caused me to discover why I’ve had a disconnect throughout most of my life.

I don’t believe in “FOR”.  I’ve lived my life with the vision and expectation of “WITH”.  I’ll explain.

When I work with people, I never consider them working “FOR” me, or me working “FOR” them, but “WITH” me as part of a team.  I now understand why I’ve been met, time and again, with disappointment or frustration.

I’ve gone through life pretty much with this expectation – that no one does things (or should do things) “FOR” me, but “WITH” me. Even with my kids, the “WITH” has always remained prevalent. I believe that they should (or could) recognize things we needed to accomplish as a family unit.

I don’t really think the team mentality is always prevalent in our society.  With my “AHA” moment, I started to think further and realize that, perhaps, it’s hard to change the philosophy of people when we’re in a society that emphasizes “US” against “THEM” instead of “WITH”.

I believe the transition is hard, but not impossible.

I work “WITH” people.  I look for opportunities for “US”.  A way we can ALL benefit.

I believe that should be the goal, in the end, for all of us — whether it is in our jobs, our communities, or our relationships, families, to work WITH each other.  This simple concept can truly end hostilities and unrealistic expectations so prevalent in many families, relationships, organizations and communities.

“WITH” is really not a difficult concept, but more of an awareness of how our actions affect others.

As part of a collaborative effort, things will move farther, faster, while creating a much more peaceful, loving atmosphere for us to share.  So we can ALL enjoy life.

We can look further into this idea with the evaluation of the intention behind the action of another, as well.  What are we trying to attract?  What are we trying to create:  Love or hatred?  Camaraderie or separation?

We see examples of this in our everyday lives:  In companies who create insecurity and fear in even their most loyal employees where one day their positions are “poof”, just gone.  In our youth who create separation and hard feelings through bullying.  In our political arena where partisan politics divide our elected officials, and our society, and resolutions to issues are not reached.  In a scenario where there is “dog eat dog” competition or blame.

“WITH” is such a simple concept.

What is the best option for us all if we work WITH each other?  What can YOU do, TOGETHER, with others?

Think of the possibilities if you just could ask someone their opinion and find a peaceful and common ground?

It’s time for us ALL to enjoy life.  It’s Time to Play.

Love, Doreen

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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is a board certified healthcare executive, a certified professional life coach, the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life and author of If I Knew Then What I Know Now, Our Quest for Quality of Life.  Time to Play and the Time to Play Foundation was absolutely created out of LOVE.  Please see www.timetoplay.com for more information.

 

Why Do You Do What You Do?

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why do you do what you doIn May my son Nicholas graduated from our community college with a degree that will help him in his pursuit of a position as a fire inspector.  In a community college there are a variety of students. Those who just graduated from high school and enroll hoping to find the spark of what type of career they will pursue throughout their lives; those who are returning students who may have never had an opportunity to attend college; those who are pursuing new careers or skill sets.  There are many reasons a person may attend college, take classes, and learn more.

As part of the graduation ceremony, one of the speakers asked a question… “Why do you do what you do”?  He said he had pondered this question as part of an application he was completing for a four year college he was applying to.  He said it took him three days looking at a blank computer screen before he could come up with an answer.

Stop and think about that for a while.  Why do you do what you do?

It’s a defining inquiry for each and every one of us.  Why do we do what we do?  It’s a question that could provide us with a root cause assessment that can answer the WHY behind our actions, purpose, vision, and more.

Why do you do what you do?  Are you happy, healthy, have money, or a work life balance (this is the time to play philosophy, by the way).  Do you love your life?  Do you love your job?

Answering the question of why you do what you do can give you the right path, the next step.

Do you do what you do because you are fueled by love and passion?  Or is your answer something like that you do what you do because you just need to get by; or just need to make the bills; or because you feel obligated.

Are your actions fueled by love, passion, purpose, or by hatred? Are your reasons for doing what you do good and right reasons or are they fueled by wrong reasons?  Is what you do helping make this world a little better than when you got here?

Look inside. 

WE are the only ones who make the decisions on our own behaviors.

Why do you do what you do?  Does it bring you pleasure or pain?

If you answer pain, how can you make a change?

I believe EVERYTHING we do is a choice.

I am so proud of my Nicholas and so grateful that he had a memorable graduation day.  I was grateful this question was part of the graduation ceremony and I hope that those present, not just the graduates, but everyone, actually listened and heard what the speaker asked.

I hope that they not only heard the question but took it with them to think about.  I hope they use it or have already used it to make decisions on how to move forward or a change in what they are doing in their life; to keep going in the same path or not.

Every day is a new opportunity.

Why do we do what we do?  Life is short.  Choose to do what makes you love life.  It’s time to Enjoy YOUR Life.  It’s Time to Play.

Love, Doreen

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Doreen Guma, MA, FACHE, CPC, CLC is the founder of the Time to Play Foundation, a 501c3 not for profit corporation inspiring everyone to enjoy life.  Please see www.timetoplay.com for more information.

Moving Forward!

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What is the one of the most under valued secrets to success?  I believe its the ACTION of MOVING FORWARD.  Some of the greatest moments of our lives happen right after some of the most trying.  To many times we end up stopping just short of the turning point.  

Why does this happen?  Well I think the answer is rather a simple and straight forward one.  The reason very well maybe that things can get pretty darn difficult right before the big break through.

The greatest comfort we have is that there is always a calm not just before the storm but also after!  The key is to keep MOVING FORWARD!  The action repeated day in and day out!  

What is the easiest ways to do this?  Take life not just one day at a time but one moment at a time!  When they ask how do you eat an elephant, the answer is always one bite at a time.  The same goes for life.  How do we live our days?  One moment at a time!  

The secret is to keep moving forward!