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You’re lucky because…

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lucky clover

lucky shamrock

Let me tell you a story.  My son Gregory is 22 years old.  He lives in Queens, New York in an apartment he shares with friends so he can afford the rent.  He is attending a City of New York college and is in his 5th year of his four year degree.  That statement is not meant to be negative in any way.  He attended college, like many do, for the first two years in a career path he hated.  It took some “guts”, but he switched to become a Psychology / Philosophy major to follow his passion (and his deep thinking — -he’s truly the smartest person I know).  So, in actuality, he’s in his 2nd year learning about things he loves.

This morning he called me.  Right now he is in a job he hates.  He is slicing meat in a deli.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Some people love slicing meat in a deli.  You’ve heard the saying, “different strokes for different folks”.  Gregory doesn’t like slicing meat in a deli.  But, it’s been months since he got the position and started complaining about it.  BUT, every day he is scheduled he continues to go there.  He always makes excuses about why he doesn’t have time to send out some resumes or put in a few applications to other places where he would prefer working. 

I’ve said it a thousand times since beginning to work, myself.  I realized you HAVE to love your job, as you’re there more hours a day than you are anywhere else.  Knowing that some people get “stuck” for one reason or another, it is my belief that there is always a way to CHANGE what you are doing in ANYTHING – work related or not.  However, if you don’t take the initiative, you will not enjoy life, the very thing advocated through the Time to Play project.

Why did I tell you all this?  There’s actually more… 

The next part of our conversation was Gregory telling me how “lucky” I am that I can make more money if I work harder.  My husband and I, aside from my life coaching and Time to Play project, have been small business owners since 2005.  That is when I left working full-time in a corporate environment and chose to work twice as hard — in my own business — for less money.  Those of you who are business owners may understand that last sentence). 

Gregory then went on to say that, no matter what he does, or how hard he works, he cannot make more money at his current job than his hourly salary. 

“I’m Lucky”. 

Let’s let that resonate a moment, and then let’s pick apart the scenario.

How many times have you said (or you have heard someone say), “So and so is lucky – look at that job they got or so and so is lucky they could buy that car; that house; take that vacation; that they’re so skinny”. 

Now, don’t be shy.  You know you’ve said it or thought it at some point.

BUT, did you think that behind “so and so” getting, spending, doing, buying, etc. – there was a CHOICE?  “So and so” did not sit idly by and continue to work in a job they did not want to go to and that did not suit their needs. 

“So and so” took ACTION.

That’s the key.

Complain and stay the same, or TAKE ACTION. 

And, no doubt about it, doing what you need to do to enjoy life is hard work.  There are no shortcuts (if you know of one let me know)!

That’s it in a “nutshell”.  The whole goal and state of mind behind Time to Play – learn what you need to know so you can enjoy life, then DO IT!  Adopt the Time to Play State of Mind.  Adopt the Time to Play philosophy.  Learn what you need to know so you can enjoy life – be happy, healthy, have money and a work / life balance.

OR stay the same by keeping on doing the same thing, day in and day out.

Keep on being miserable, depressed, sick, or going to that job you hate…

You get the idea.

Right, Gregory???

The Power of Now — a journey to discovery

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Don’t know if you have had the time to join in / read the book discussion re: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, but I’m up to page 65.  Here’s what I’m thinking about so far. . .

There are a lot of thought provoking statements in the pages I’ve read.  And, I start to wonder about how I do think and the “chatter” which has brought me so many good ideas and breakthroughs.  So where do you draw the line of what is good or bad chatter?  How do you turn it on or off as needed? Hopefully as I read more I’ll learn more I’ll figure this out.

Here’s an amazing, thought provoking paragraph (page 46-47):  “As long as the egoic mind is running your life, you cannot truly be at ease; you cannot be at peace or fulfilled except for brief intervals when you obtained what you wanted, when a craving has just been fulfilled.  Since the ego is a derived sense of self, it needs to identify with external things.  It needs to be both defended and fed constantly.  The most common ego identifications have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems, and often also political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective identifications. None of these is you . . . The ego’s needs are endless.  It feels vulnerable and threatened and so lives in a state of fear and want”.

Wow.  I totally saw myself in this.  Did you?  The pursuit of career, completing my masters, my job.  These things defined me, pushed me.  If I had a good day at work, I was in a good mood.  Bad day?  Bad mood.  HOWEVER, at what point do you need motivation to pursue a “life”, and at what point are you kind of a hump of flesh (very visual, huh?) sitting on a couch?  BUT, the state of fear and want sentence makes you think, too.  Is this pursuit what’s causing us so much stress?  What do we really need or want?  Is that what we need to evaluate to have a good quality of life?  At what point do we not strive?  I’m still reading, so, hopefully this will be answered.

The author continued to talk about the past, the future vs. the now.  The life situations we are dealing with, not the LIFE.  I’ll leave you with this:  (page 63) “Your life situation exists in time.  Your life is now.  Your life situation is mind-stuff.  Your life is real”.  The author notes that we need to realize that there are no problems, only situations to be dealt with now, or to be left alone and accepted as part of the present moment until they change or can be dealt with, and that problems are mind-made and need time to survive.

Hmmmm —

Book Discussion continues:  Go to Book Discussion

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Embrace the TimetoPlay.com philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  It is time to enjoy life.  Check out the resources on www.timetoplay.com to have a better life.

Every Action We Take Provides a Reward or a Consequence

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So, it has taken 45 years for me to start figuring things out.  I guess that’s better than never.

I have always advocated being proactive.  During my corporate career one of my job functions was quality improvement.  That is what I base our business model on now.  For our company I have written a statement:  “Everything you do in your organization to achieve success requires identification of goals, analysis, strategy and planning”.   This I advocate for our clients, but, something I realize I never really implemented in my life.  I feel that I’ve mostly utilized the “shoot from the hip” philosophy, just being happy to get through each day.

Life a continuous learning process, and I have learned some things recently.  All brought about as I search for meaning in development of timetoplay.com and through talking to people.  My goal for the site?  How can it help the most amount of people have a quality of life.  I really am working on it.

Something new I’ve realized (although it is obvious) but didn’t really put into practical operation is every action we take provides a reward or a consequence.

Let’s think about this — both in business and in life.

In business, are you achieving?  If not, what actions are you taking?  Are you being proactive?  Have you evaluated the past to find out what can be improved?  Have you set goals?  Have you planned?  Again, what actions are you taking?  What will be the consequences or potential rewards of those actions?  If no action is taken and you go on with the same old, same old, what consequences will there be?  I can’t tell you how many people I’ve talked to that wound up not implementing changes to make their business work and wound up out of business.  It is sad.

In life are you happy?  If not, why?  Did you ever really stop to think what will make you happy?  Did you ever try to make a plan or set a goal to acquire what will make you happy?  What have I realized lately?  I have to make it happen.  I have to make the change.  I have to set the goal.  I cannot wait.  If I don’t make it happen, it is not going to happen.  One of my friends was unhappy in her marriage.  On the outside she had the perfect life.  A wonderful house, wonderful kids, etc.  But she wasn’t happy.  She is going through a divorce and she is so happy.  She is free.  She has found a man that loves her.  SHE made it happen. 

In things like relationships, lateness, job satisfaction, weight loss, exercise, procrastination, behavior (being crabby), etc.  . . . the list is endless. . .  Every action (or no action) we take provides a reward or a consequence.  What changes need to be implemented.  What actions do/should you take?  What is the reward?  What is the consequence of an action or no action.  No actions may provide no results.  Bad actions may provide bad consequences.

Let’s take those good actions.  Proactive actions.  Let’s get that reward.

Looking at Achievements – Here's to 2011!

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So. . . 2011 is here.  We have bucket lists.  We have goals.

As a newbie to Facebook, I have noticed people posting when they are working on something or when they have finally accomplished “it”.  I think that is one thing Facebook has given us.  A way to spread an accomplishment to more than just immediate friends or family.

There are those who are writing or have finished writing books.  I didn’t realize how many people I “know” that wanted to write a book or had written one.  It is pretty amazing — they have taken words of wisdom, something they love, etc. and put it down to share with others.  They have made “a mark”.

For others, speaking engagements, publicity, published articles — sorta 10 seconds (or hopefully longer) of fame. 

First thoughts — wow. . . how could they have done that?  How did they get contacted?  How did they get lucky to “make it”.

But, then, thoughts of sincere and heartfelt awe — they worked hard, maybe for years, to get a little recognition that they absolutely deserved.  Good for them!  Get far!!!!!  Ride the wave of success!

I feel proud that they achieved what they set out to do.  More power to them!  It is amazing to know that they actually achieved what they wanted to do.  They didn’t just say “I should have” or “I should do _______”.  They did it.  They achieved.

Don’t just think it or say it.  Do it.

I hope we all accomplish something this year that we can celebrate.  Make 2011 a good one.  I wish you much happiness, prosperity, success and achievement.

Happy New Year,

Doreen

What should be here? Is this blog boring?

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So, we create stuff.  We look at it.  We reevaluate.  We had a discussion in my office that this blog is boring.  That it’s too pensive.  That it’s not fun.  And, I certainly don’t want it to be a rehash of the same old thing.  I thought taking profound words and extracting the deeper meaning was kinda cool.  But apparently it’s not.

So — what should be here?  What should I write about?  What is my  mission?  A quest for quality of life.  This journey started approximately 5 short months ago when I realized I was going through each day without having any fun.  Working, chores, exhaustion.  Add to that the fact that I’m really not a fun person — all business, no pleasure — which is another challenge that I have to overcome.

Guess what?  It’s not easy to change.  I’m in the rut.  I try.  I say, “I should go to the gym”. Why?  Because I like to go to the gym.  But I don’t.  I’m too tired.  Or  I have to work, or go to a meeting, or pick up a kid.

I should have more fun.  But I don’t.  Why?  Something gets in the way. But the real problem is I don’t know how to.

However, I’m trying.  At least I’m noticing that I’m thinking of trying even though I’m not actually doing.  You know the saying, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.  I’m an old dog. My birthday is in 2 weeks, and I’ll be 45.  Kinda scary.  Especially when I know I want to “play”.

But, isn’t thinking about doing something kind of a first step?

Every day is a challenge.  But I promise to get there.  I realize that you do have to work at something to have a change.

So, back to the question — what should be here.  Should this be about my personal journey?  Perhaps.  Or perhaps it should be about my journey intertwined with some amazing people I meet along the way that have had a similar epiphany.  I kind of like that better.  I take pleasure in seeing someone fulfill a dream or accomplish something.

We’ll just have to tackle this, together, one day at a time.