The Gift of Health is Keeping Me Alive – 2013 New Year’s Resolutions

gratitude

gratitude and health

It is 2013 — the new year and a time for resolutions (again).  I did a little research – did you know that 45 million people a year go on diets and that diets are the most common New Year’s resolution?  By the way — the tradition of making New Year’s resolutions started with the ancient Babylonians in like 2000 BC (found that on History.com) – thought that was a pretty interesting piece of  trivia to pass on!

Yesterday’s Empower Half Hour podcast was on Health and Gratitude with Irene Ross, a health and nutrition coach and a new professional on www.timetoplay.com under Health.  When we scheduled the podcast, I started thinking about the correlation.  You know, it really makes sense.  Health does link up with stress, as we read in Dr. Norman Vincent Peale’s book The Power of Positive Thinking (see forum if you want to read more of the book review / discussion) On p. 152 it was written that “1/3 of all cases of illness in general hospitals are clearly organic in nature and onset, one third are a combination of emotional and organic, and one third are clearly emotional” and that long-held hatred can cause damage to a body to lower resistance and physical deterioration and that grudges ill will and resentment can cause poor health.  ”Many people suffer poor health not because of what they eat but from what is eating them. Emotional ills turn in upon yourself, sapping your energy, reducing your efficiency, causing deterioration in your health. And of course they siphon off your happiness”, p. 154. So… resentment, fear, anxiety are the culprits and illustrates “the profound effect of mental pain on physical conditions” (p. 155). Dr. Peale even went on to note how recurring colds can even be traced to being angry or feelings of insecurity.

So, we learn that our negative thinking or harboring ill will can cause health concerns, but how does gratitude fit in?  Irene noted that “When we practice gratitude consistently, we are re-framing our thinking, so we aren’t automatically stuck in that place of negative self-talk that usually keeps us from moving ahead in all areas of our life.  We tend to think of well-being as mainly physical, but there are actually many kinds—financial, spiritual, career, community, for example—and they are all connected back to the physical.  You know that expression, “all roads lead to Rome”—well, this is:  ‘All types of well-being lead back to the physical.”  She noted a statistic from Dr. Robert A. Emmons’ book entitled Thanks! How the new Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier that people who were in the gratitude condition felt fully 25% happier, more optimistic and confident and even did almost 1.5 hours more exercise a week!  See Irene’s article for more on how positive thinking and its affect on our health.

So… today I was reading The Magic, a book by Rhonda Byrne, the author of The Secret.  The whole book is about gratitude, and today’s chapter is on — guess what — HEALTH and Gratitude!!  As many of you know, I’ve working in healthcare since 1987.  I’ve seen the sick and sad — it’s one of the reasons I started TimetoPlay.com.  It’s no joke.  I don’t think anyone wants to wind up in a skilled nursing facility (nursing home), although I do work for some amazing places who provide fabulous quality of life to their residents… but, when you’re health is gone, sometimes you need to be at a facility for care.  In as much as the Administrators I work for are great and help the residents maintain as much independence as possible, you still loose some.  You can’t always get around by yourself anymore and you may become dependent on others to do the simplest tasks for you.  I agree that we sometimes take our health for granted until it’s gone.  As a matter of fact, Ms. Byrne even noted that we do sometimes realize how it’s horrible to lose our health when we’re just temporarily sick with a cold or flu.   Grandma always said, “If you don’t have your health you don’t have anything.”  Ms. Byrne wrote, “being grateful for your health is essential to keep your health, but also to guarantee that it continues to get better, with increasing energy and zest for life”.   I, truly, am grateful for my good health and the good health of my family.

Today, please evaluate yourself.  None of us are perfect.  I believe we sometimes put so much pressure on ourselves that it hurts us physically.  I also believe that when it is New Year’s we try to overhaul everything about our health – eating and exercise, all at once.  Perhaps it is time to look for the primary cause of our eating habits or unhealthiness and start to make one small change at a time.  Maybe we need to start with our thinking, first. Perhaps it is time to be grateful for what we have and who we are.  Perhaps we need to realize we, each of us in our own way, are amazing and can accomplish amazing things.  Perhaps we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves.  Perhaps it will show in our good health and longevity.

I wish you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2013.

- Doreen

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Embrace the www.timetoplay.com philosophy – you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  TimetoPlay.com = resources for a better life.  Learn what you need to know and make a small change.  It’s time to Enjoy Your Life!

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Why are we here?

Meet my Gregory.  He’s my oldest child — just turned 21.  This photo was taken at our celebration of his birthday.  I have two other children, Nicholas (18) and Jacquelyn (17).  So… 21 years (and 9+ months ago) I said to my husband, are you sure we want to bring children into this world?  It’s not easy out here (and that was 21 years ago!) and he said, yes — maybe one of them will fix it.

Gregory and I have recently had discussions.  He voiced his concerns on how hard it will be when he finishes college to find a well-paying job.  A job that will pay enough for him to live on his own and actually have enough money so he could eat.  He is very smart.  Always has been.  He knows a lot of statistics (like his mother — statistics seem to stick in my mind) and is very worldly for his age.  He talks a lot about the amount of people that are unemployed, the shrinking middle class and the shrinking opportunity in the job market.

But, what is opportunity really?  Sometimes I look around and feel we have lost our power to make things happen.  Maybe some of us are discouraged.  Maybe some of us have given up.  I want to see that change.

SO… with the knowledge that it’s not easy to fix things, and know I can’t leave it to my kids to do it on their own (it’s kind of a big job), I started www.timetoplay.com with the intention to get the ball rolling for us to change things — together.  I’ve used the analogy of timetoplay being a pebble in the pond to start a ripple.  Me throwing the pebble and people joining on board to change things.  To make things happen.  People working together to help each other enjoy life – to have quality of life.

I sometimes feel that we feel the full burden of the world on our individual shoulders.  We’ve become tired.  I think a lot (sometimes too much).  But, I did come up with this pilgrim philosophy idea — when we settled here in America, the new world, people depended on each other for survival.  I don’t believe that is the norm nowadays.  I think, today, so many of us are so isolated and alone.  I think we just are striving to get through the day and survive — to work, to feed our families — to just make it.   So many problems to face, and we bear our burdens alone, and that just becomes so heavy.  BUT, if we can work together, like the pilgrims – collaboratively – we can make things change.  We can rebuild communities and compassion.

Why?  In my case (and in the case of so many of us) we have kids.  We’re not going to be here forever.  I know I can’t leave things like they are and know they’re out there trying to survive.  We have to work together to leave this place better than it is for them.  I know that’s why I’m here.  To make a difference.  To make things change.  To help people to realize they have to help each other.  To collaborate.  To grow strong again.

WE built this country.  WE built it.  WE didn’t wait for someone to fix things for us.

WE need to make a difference.  And, that, I believe, is why we’re here.

www.timetoplay.com:  People helping people enjoy life.

Let’s re-empower each other.

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Embrace the timetoplay.com philosophy: You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  It’s time to Enjoy Life!  Check out www.timetoplay.com for resources for a better life.

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Responsibility

As a woman, all my life, I’ve coddled and placated people when things haven’t gone right for them, saying things like, “I understand”, or “I know how hard it is”.

Until today. 

I have reached my limit for being able to listen to the blame game.  I woke up this morning aggravated, which caused me to alter my approach.  No more sugar-coating.  We seem to need a reality check we need responsibility back.

Truly, I understand that things occurred in our society that have caused our new woosy-like, entitlement way of thinking.  I’ve decided not to list specific examples here today; however, it just blows my mind how we overanalyze everything instead of addressing the root cause of the problem.  Where did the question “how does that make you feel” come from, anyway?

Our society has changed, in many ways, taking us from being independent to dependent. Where is our sense of responsibility? We wait for people to fix things instead of us going out there, rolling up our sleeves, and doing it.

I started www.timetoplay.com, first, for myself.  I had become tired and overwhelmed.  I started to become soft.  I realized I needed to learn things so I could take my life back, and then decided to build this project where resources could come under one roof to help others learn – the concept of people helping people vs. the “me” mentality.

The intention for www.timetoplay.com is to provide resources that enable people to take responsibility for themselves.  To learn what they need to know to enjoy life.

A long time ago I realized that people stopped being proactive in this society.  It was always someone else’s fault they were in the situation they were experiencing.  Poor health?  Not their fault.  Depressed?  Not their fault.  Not enough money?  Not their fault.  Doing bad at work?  Not their fault.

Guess what.  It’s our fault if we don’t have the ability to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and fix it.

Maybe things didn’t come along as easy as you thought they would.

Maybe things aren’t always going your way.

Maybe “times are tough”.

Face it.  There are no shortcuts or leprechauns at the end of a rainbow with a pot of gold.

Hard work and determination built this country.  Look at the greats that came before us.  People were determined to succeed, to explore, to blaze new trails.

We seem to have gotten away from that philosophy.

Toughen up, people, and stop having a pity party.

Learn what you need to know so you can take control of your life.  After all, we’re only here for a short time.

www.timetoplay.com – resources for a better life.  It’s time YOU enjoy YOUR life.

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“It’s not a problem, only an inconvenience”

I have to admit it.  My husband, Jim, is the smartest person I know.

We’ve been married since 1988 and together since 1983.  He’s always been there.  My rock.  The guy who puts up with me and my crazy ideas.  Although he still cringes when he hears the words, “I’ve been thinking”, he listens and let’s me run with whatever I come up with.  We both share a passion for helping others and our community; hence the www.timetoplay.com project with the vision of people helping people and the mission to bring ideas to us “worker bees” to help make our lives better.

Unfortunately, we encounter so many things in one given day that we can become frustrated and lose site of what’s important and, sometimes, our ability to handle things we encounter.  Our lives are those of multitaskers, and while some of us are proud of the crazy quantity of stuff we can achieve in one day, I think it only increases our anxiety.  Many of us put a lot of self-inflicted pressure on ourselves.  We get tired.

Things that occur during the day can also create negative vibes for us and can shift us into being crabby or in a bad mood.  For example, my daughter was astonished at a person’s behavior yesterday.  She was volunteering at a charitable event and an attendee was absolutely rude to her.  I told her that there may have been a reason behind the woman’s behavior — you know, sometimes a reaction is because of something else that was encountered prior to the event.  I told her to let it go — it’s important because we don’t know the circumstances and the agitation is not necessarily against us – especially when you only encounter a person and they don’t even know you.  This person might have had an argument with prior to communicating with her, she may have had a hard day, someone in her family may have been giving her a hard time (it was a family event and sometimes these are trying when you have small children with you, and sometimes that, in itself is trying).  And, while it’s not o.k. to make excuses for someone else, it’s better then being caught up in their bad mood.  It has taken me a long time to realize this, and I have to catch myself from getting caught up in the moment (which does not always happen).  When you become frustrated, things can trigger you and only amplify your behavior (and you freak out a little).  I’m still working on realizing the triggers which push me towards a behavior I do not prefer, and sometimes it’s not until after the event that I realize what happened and, maybe, that I did not handle something the way I should have.  But, each day is a learning experience.  We learn so we can grow and change what we need to so we can have a better life.

And, many of us (me, me!) are totally inpatient.  Being inpatient, a hard day at work, or something else that we encounter during the day of high pressure that we inflict on ourselves really can wear us down.  I know, personally, that I expect too much from myself.

We are, after all, human.  I learn this from Jim.

After becoming exhausted, after having temper tantrums (admit it — we all do it sometimes!), he brings me back to reality.  ”It’s not a problem, it’s an inconvenience”, he said recently.  Wow!  A light bulb went off and started me thinking!  Jim is a retired police officer.  He went on to explain that the only problem is when you have bullets flying by your head.  Good point.

I’ve always been a complainer.  After reading many self-help books over these past 2 years, I now understand that complaining brings negative energy to a person.  I wish I knew that sooner.  I grew up in a family of complainers, so  complaining is second nature to me.  In the mornings I’d usually list what the problems of the day were.  I always started it with “the only problem is_____” for my day — whether it was needing to get gas, trying to figure out how to fit things into the day time-wise, or making any statement.  Pretty much, something was always a problem.

One morning a few days ago, in response to my problem list, Jim gave me an example.  He explained that running out of coffee beans is not a problem, only an inconvenience.  ”You can always just go to the deli and get a cup”, he said.  The light bulb again — there’s always a plan “B”.  I get it.  It makes sense!

OK, so I’m a little disappointed it took him 29 years to verbalize these amazing words of wisdom, but grateful he did.  ”___________ is a problem” is no longer a normal daily statement that I make.

My mind triggers now if the bad 7 letter word (problem) comes out of my mouth and I immediately shift my thinking.  Realistically, nothing is a problem what a person can’t tackle by looking at it objectively, not just reacting.  When we just react it’s harder to find a rational solution to whatever the issue is.  And, I know that there is a solution to any problem if we just take a step back and figure out what to do next.  Although, after Jim’s words of enlightenment, nothing is really a problem, is it?

We make our own problems and worry.  I’m working so hard on stopping myself when I get into a cycle of down.  When you stop yourself and look objectively at something, things seem to work out.  And it makes for such a nicer day.

Hope your inconveniences are very minor and easy ones to solve.  There is a solution to any inconvenience.

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Embrace the timetoplay philosophy – you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  It’s time to Enjoy Your Life!

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Happiness for D…

Aside


Happiness for Dummies – W. Doyle Gentry, PhD

I figured this book would be kind of fun and light — it’s not. The author summed up the book’s intention in the introduction: “Happiness for Dummies tells you how to fight for, create, and live a long and happy life. It makes you the master of your own happy destiny!” The book appears to be educational and thought provoking. The author (based on what I have read so far) has provided examples of happy people and ways to identify, learn, experience, and change. By the way — he’s noted Type B personalities are happier than Type A. I’m a type A. I expect a lot from myself. Hmmmmm. Something to consider as we go through this book.

 

LEARN — here’s that concept again. I’ve decided the key to enjoying life is to learn. Don’t just sit there. Identify what you need and then learn. Find out all the information you need to change, and then implement it. In the introduction the author also included this sentence re: happiness and its pursuit: “You wait for it to find you instead of exercising your right to pursue it“. Let’s not wait. Let’s learn and implement.

OK — so, let’s start the Happiness for Dummies discussion.

This is CHAPTER 1: Anyone Can Be Happy — and it’s going to be long.

Beginning on page 12, Dr. Gentry reviewed findings on 4 people who professed to be happy. Their common attributes were a strong family and parents who loved them and taught them to be positive. They volunteer and give back to others. They SMILE an encourage others around them to smile back. They are POSITIVE thinkers (that was worth repeating). One interviewee said he looks for opportunities to be happy and that he has a motto “only you can make it happen!” (p. 13). He also goes to bed each night reflecting on the positive things he did that day and wakes up each morning thinking positive thoughts. We’ve heard about being grateful and feeling grateful and making lists like these before. . . maybe something to implement? These people all participated in religious services. One said his wife taught him to loosen up and enjoy life and see the glass half full instead of half empty. The author summarized that they all believe happiness is something you have to work at — it doesn’t just happen. So, that’s definitely important to consider — all hope’s not lost, right? Another points re: the commonalities of these people that Dr. Gentry interviewed — people believe happiness comes with age. He went on to review statistics on p. 15, where 28% of people 18 – 27 felt happy whereas 38% of people 68-77 felt happy. Dr. Gentry noted that people who are older realize that life’s not perfect, they realize you have to accept it for what it is. I guess that means they don’t put as much pressure on themselves as people who are younger do. They’ve accepted things for what they are. . .

Dr. Gentry briefly introduced that married people are happier, something that will be embellished in chapter 16 and chapter 20 — so we’ll get to that shortly.

Dr. Gentry discussed Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Something I remember studying in college. Now I wish I paid more attention! I’m going to interpret the hierarchy of needs to being a journey — 5 levels that Dr. Maslow identified — 1) meeting your basic survival needs; 2) safety — including financial (see? timetoplay.com philosophy is on the ball! if you don’t have money, at least to eat, you can’t enjoy life); 3) feeling loved and needed by others; 4) having self-esteem – liking yourself and feeling respected; and 5) feeling like you got “there”, that you’ve reached your full potential. Maybe people get stuck and #5. I know, since starting timetoplay.com, I’ve realized I had been stuck at #5, not feeling like I had made “it”, evaluating my situation and feeling like I still have to strive or prove something to myself. I know this feeling was based in my childhood. That’s a story for another time. Like Mr. Tolle, Dr. Gentry notes that you cannot look for happiness in power, status, wealth and success. That if this is how you’re trying to get to happiness you will end up being unhappy. I realize that now and have, through the learning journey of developing timetoplay, have been learning to enjoy life and live in the moment. It’s not been easy. It’s a process, right?

Dr. Gentry goes on to discuss how negative emotions narrow your thinking and cause frustration, how positive produces a “high”, feelings of excitement, and an increase of productivity. He discusses the importance to release positive endorphins through creative activity, exercise, fellowship with others, prayer, laughter (noted to be very effective for pain management and healing, too!), being surrounded by things of beauty and healthy sexual encounters (I know people are thinking about that last one).

This was a great tip from Dr. Gentry– replacing negative emotions with positive emotions. It was noted that you cannot feel angry, upset or sad if you replace it with a positive feeling, that you can’t be angry and happy at the same time. DEFINITELY a good tip that all of us can easily try.

Blood pressure: Dr. Gentry mentions that being angry or upset can increase blood pressure. We have heard that this can cause heart attack and stroke, too. Our minds can do terrible things to our body, causing depression and sickness — Dr. Gentry referenced a study by Dr. Barbara Fredrickson who wrote a thesis on how positive emotions can undo the effects of stress, how the simple use of touch or petting a pet can decrease blood pressure. Something to look into. . .

Dr. Gentry discussed being mindful and staying in the present moment. We did learn a lot from reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle — if you haven’t read the forum/discussion on that, it is available in the book club/review section. Over 2600 people have gone into that thread, and I hope it’s helped them. I realize it’s very hard to implement this all the time. The intention is to be aware of your feelings at each moment and to change things to stay positive, to focus on how you feel, to not worry, not wait for things to happen (to make them happen), to not dwell in the past or the future because all you really have is the present moment. There is no past and the future isn’t guaranteed. Pretty pensive, right? Again, I realize I forget to stay in the present. I have to be more mindful of this. And, regarding lingering in the present moment, Dr. Gentry discusses on p. 22/23 about Type A personalities always moving forward because we have too much to accomplish. Since starting TimetoPlay.com I’ve realized this has always been me. Not taking a few minutes to see the beauty around me, to appreciate what I have, what is happening, just being present. This is not something I know I can snap my fingers and make happen. It’s a constant realization that I have to be present to absorb, enjoy, reflect. I have been trying to be more aware. I was driving the other day and realized the beauty of the blue sky, I have been noticing the buds on the trees and the way the trees and plants are becoming ready to “pop” with splendor for the spring. I noticed how pretty my daughter’s hair looked the other day. The little things. The things we miss when we’re rushing around. Dr. Gentry suggested allowing time in your busy day for a few moments of happiness. This, as well, is the timetoplay.com philosophy. Even if you can only take 5 minutes for another cup of coffee to enjoy. . . something. . . and, although I forget EVERY day to do this, I’m definitely doing it more.

Last thing for chapter 1 — something to really consider — Dr. Gentry gave an example of a man who had an abusive childhood home with alcoholic parents. Dr. Gentry had an underlying protective mechanism that he wasn’t able to be happy because if he started to be happy, his happiness could be taken away. This was because of Dr. Gentry’s explosive childhood situation. In summary, sometimes past experiences might prevent you from letting yourself enjoy life. It’s something that, after a bit of self-reflection and realization, you might need to speak with a mental-health professional to work through. I realize I had been angry for 30 years — not on the surface, but, apparently it was there. Hence the reason I had to “make it”. I never did go to a psychologist, but it is something to consider. While based on Mr. Tolle’s book, we’re not supposed to dwell in the past, I do feel that it’s important to realize that, sometimes, it’s not easy to let things go, that we’re terribly hurt deep down. However, it’s not something that should hold us back. One of the goals for timetoplay is that, in the end, we should have no regrets. That we need to enjoy life. It stands to reason that, if you live in the past and dwell on that situation, regrets will be forefront in your life. So, this goes back to learning what we need and getting the resources to change.

So much for “Happiness for Dummies” being a light, fun book. This one’s definitely going to be work, too. You would never guess it from the title as it certainly minimizes things, but I think it will be time well spent. Thanks Dr. Gentry!

Be sure to visit timetoplay for more updates!

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The Serenity Prayer – A Challenge

Did you ever wonder where the Serenity Prayer came from or what the intention was when it was written?  I googled and found this on a website  http://www.thevoiceforlove.com/serenity-prayer.html  and I have reposted, as follows:

Serenity Prayer:  God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.  Thevoiceforlove.com further noted that the “prayer” was written by theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the late 1930s to early 1940s as part of a sermon he was giving and that the widely known prayer is abbreviated and the entire prayer reads:  Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.

I’ll get back to this in a few moments.

I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days and talking to people that have made me think even more.  For example, I recently learned of an organization called Head Start.  How blind we are (I know this is true because so many people I asked didn’t know what the organization was) in our own Communities!  I have passed the sign a million times driving past.  I thought it was just a preschool.  It’s not.  It’s a place where children who come from families earning less than $17,000 per year apply to attend (and they have a huge waiting list) where they provide education and resources to the children and the families – the children so they can, hopefully, be on an even par with more privileged children when they start elementary school, and families to help them get on their feet and “make it”.  And, get this, the organization was formed in the 1960′s.  Think we should know about it?  I was speaking with someone yesterday and we discussed the Head Start Program, and talked about how it had been invisible to me, and she said that was because it was not in my reality, as it helps our society achieve and is intended to fight poverty.  Realistically, this type of program should be in each of our realities, which leads to point out that a major mission of www.timetoplay.com is people helping people.  We are all each others people and should care about each other and help each other.

OK.  More thinking.  My daughter is 17.  She has been telling me about children in her school who have given up and have no desire to strive to get ahead, they have a “what’s the use” attitude.  I was quite disturbed yesterday during our discussion, and this isn’t the first discussion of this type I’ve had with my children.  My 20 year old told me the same thing that he’s noticed about many of his peers.  Many of his friends, he noted, know that it’s hard to find jobs, and that many view the job opportunities as low paying without job security, and that they’ve given up before they’ve even gotten started.  And then there is the alarming rate of depression and suicide in our Country, a tabu topic.   The following national youth suicide statistics were posted on http://www.teachervision.fen.com/education-and-social-issues/mental-health/57131.html#ixzz1yQlQZiWt.  I’ve included the statistics I felt were most disturbing:    suicide is the third leading cause of death for teens, suicide is second leading cause of death in colleges, that for every suicide completion, there are between 50 and 200 attempts, that the CDC (center for disease control) performed a Youth Risk Survey which showed that 8.5% of students in grades 9-12 reported a suicide attempt in the past year, that 25% of high-school students report suicide ideation (thoughts).  Probably the most disturbing was their notation that a recent survey of high-school students found that almost 1 in 5 had seriously considered suicide; more than 1 in 6 had made plans to attempt suicide; and more than 1 in 12 had made a suicide attempt in the past year.  And this is just teens.  There’s plenty of statistics for adults, including our returning soldiers, and the statistics for people with depression are crazy, too.  The CDC posted 7/11 that depression affects 1 in 10 US adults http://www.cdc.gov/Features/DataStatistics.html. These statistics and conditions show complete dissatisfaction people have in life and that they’ve given up.

Lastly, another thing that always has bothered me is how people jump on causes when it affects them.  How many people do you know that never worried about people affected by breast or another type of cancer until they or their loved one got it?  Or MS, or Diabetes, or Autism or Alzheimer’s . . . it’s an endless list.  I know we can’t all fight for everything, but shouldn’t we care about each other all the time?  Who is affected with a condition, who is struggling, etc.  Religious or not, everyone has heard of the 10 commandments.  One reads, “thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”.  We’ve become so far removed from this.  I told you, I’m always thinking. . . I came up with something I call the Pilgrim Philosophy.  Early settlers relied on each other for survival.  We worked together to keep our communities strong.  We all had a job and a purpose, a place to live, food.  I feel we’ve become socially isolated, striving, alone for survival.  And with conveniences of texting, email, and other electronic communication media, we have less face to face time with others.  Could this be contributory to the statistics on suicide and depression?

What can we do?  First, this isn’t Doreen’s project to change the world.  She CAN’T do it alone.  This is people helping people, communities helping communities, businesses helping businesses, to succeed and to enjoy life.  We can’t wait for someone else to fix it.  The thought process of “Not in my reality” can’t exist.  Guess what — this is our reality.  And, ever hear of NIMBY (not in my backyard)?  Guess what — rich or poor, this is in our backyard.

So, how does the Serenity Prayer enter into this?  I think it encourages complacency.  Especially the long version.  ”God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”.  Is there really something we can’t change?  Think about it.  I truly believe that working together, people helping people, we can change anything.  I challenge you — and all of us — to make things change.

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Embrace the www.timetoplay.com philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  Check out www.timetoplay.com to get resources for a better life.  Read tips and read articles from amazing professionals to help you have a better life.  It’s time to enjoy life!

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Foster Bold Dreams, Bolder Actions

I‘ve been reading The Everyday Entrepreneur written by Rob Basso.  Chapter 5 was one in which I found myself reflecting on things I have been working on or thinking about, and wanted to share.

The chapter started off with pensive statements about what sets a WILDLY successful person apart from others: “Imagination, a solid plan of action and determination to break down barriers” (p. 71). Rob noted that the challenge to achieve is the main difference between true entrepreneurs and complacent business people. Hmm. This is something I need to reflect on. In my life I was complacent to get a job, to feel secure, to get a check. There was a course I recently took where they used an acronym for JOB: Just Over Broke. Interesting, right?

So, for most of my life I played it safe, had my 9-5 (or 6 or 7 and weekends) job and that was it. Do you have something in your heart you want to achieve? I know I do. It’s a burning, energetic feeling – and it drives me forward. This brings me to the “no regrets” / follow your heart sentiment noted by Ken Davenport on page 80, where he was headed to study law in college but went into theatre instead, “he decided to study acting so that he would have no regrets later in life about what could have been.” Can we all do this? Do we have the luxury? In my case, no. Early on I had to get a full time job to support my family. I was 17 at the time. But, my path seems to have led me to where I am now, to a life I believe has been filled with achievement. I have learned things I know I would never have learned if things went differently in the beginning. And now I’m using what I’ve learned to propel what’s in my heart. It’s never too late.

What is one to do if you have a passion, if you have an idea, if you have a desire? Well, Rob did cover that, too! Pretty much what I’ve been doing working on the www.timetoplay.com project – on page 83 he talks of Mr. Scott Snibbe of Snibbe Interactive who had to fit his artistic pursuits around his schoolwork first, and then his professional career, while developing his company. In off times you can make it happen. For me, I rarely watch TV. I find myself thinking and planning and researching when I do have down time to make things happen. I “squish” it in. Remember the “NO REGRETS” statement? That’s one of the goals for www.timetoplay.com. To bring people resources so they will have no regrets. To remind them to enjoy life and to learn what they need to know so they can. In this case, following your dreams and doing what you love is one thing, maybe the most important thing, in the world to a person so they can enjoy life.

I know so many people who hate what they do in their career but become “STUCK”. They wake up every day and are exhausted, stressed or frustrated because they have to go to work. Can you change this? Maybe you can by fitting in some type of time to make it happen. . .

Rob’s Entrepreneurial Insight on p. 83 is “Find the space to nurture and grow your new pursuits”. Maybe it’s not to become an entrepreneur and start your own business, but maybe it is to study law, dance, guitar. . . something that you’ve wanted to do and think about all the time. Do you have something in your heart that you wish or want to do?

Do it.

Make it happen.

Rob also included an interview from David Becker, president of Philippe Becker Design, Inc. who noted that, “human nature [is] to trash new ideas”. Don’t let that stop you, either. In my experience, there are a lot of people out there who are so negative towards change and will push you down. Advice? Rob notes that you need people who support you to surround yourself with and perseverance. “I’ve got nothing to lose. . . what’s the worst that can happen? We won’t get the business. Or the best? We will get the business. But I can’t be afraid of what might happen.” David Becker, p. 82.

Onward and upward!

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Embrace the www.timetoplay.com philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  Check out www.timetoplay.com to get tips and read articles from amazing professionals to help you have a better life.  It’s time to enjoy life and foster bold dreams!

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Think and Grow Rich – by Napoleon Hill

Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill) - Blogging...

Think and Grow Rich (Napoleon Hill) – Blogging Bookshelf (Photo credit: The Booklight)

This was a most amazing book. Andrew Carnie, of steel manufacturing fame, charged Napoleon Hill with writing this book. It was written in 1937, took 28 years to complete the research, and was the summary (I guess that’s a good word) of the 500 most successful people of that time including greats like Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, etc.

What an impressive book. I’m going to provide just a brief summary and I do encourage EVERYONE to read this.

Most of the book is directed to the state of mind. I truly have realized, during my journey in my quest for quality of life, that our mind is what imprisons us, what causes us to become a victim. It’s most important for us to exercise as much control over the chatter that enters as it can totally bring us down.

Another component of the book was about “nay-sayers” that told some of the greats of our Country that things were impossible, could never happen, etc. Believe it or not, “Doubting Thomases” even told Henry Ford he could never be successful producing the automobile! I have learned, over the past years of my quest, and had reinforced through Mr. Hill’s brilliant work, that “the mind could produce anything the mind could conceive and believe” (p. 285). This book has helped me see that. I know I’ve been held back believing in people who have told me “no” or that “it can’t be done” or “why would you bother”. Although I feel bad that I let this happen, I know you can’t go back (you know, the Eckhart Tolle Power of Now philosophy – there is no past, there is no future, there is only the present). So, we move forward.

What do you want in life? Feel it, believe it. Write it down. See it. Make it happen.

In Think and Grow Rich Mr. Hill reviews 13 principles which lead to success. I considered going through and summarizing each one, but, as stated in the preface, “this book contains the secret, which as been put to a practical test by thousands of people from almost every walk of life. [Andrew Carnegie] believed the formula should be taught in all schools and colleges, and expressed the opinion that if it were properly taught it would so revolutionize the entire educational system that the time spent in school could be reduced to less than half.” (p. vi)

He noted that the secret will appear in the book as you read it if you are ready for it.

Therefore, I chose to not divulge it. 

The book is an experience, one that I am pleased to have taken part. It created clarity and pulled together ideas and education I have been acquiring during these past two years in my quest for quality of life.

A final thought from the preface, written by Napoleon Hill in 1937 (p. xi): “All achievement, all earned riches, have their beginning in an idea! If you are ready for the secret, you already possess one half of it; therefore you will readily recognize the other half the moment it reaches your mind”.

Hmm. . . does that wet your appetite?

Happy reading!

Doreen

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Embrace the www.timetoplay.com philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  Check out www.timetoplay.com to get tips and read articles from amazing professionals to help you have a better life.  It’s time to enjoy life!

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Happiness for Dummies: Hardiness (Chapter 6)

The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris

This book makes you think! The Thinking Man sculpture at Musée Rodin in Paris (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I do marvel that Happiness for Dummies is not a “dummies” book, that it does have valid content that makes you think!

Dr. Gentry described hardy personality in Chapter 6 of Happiness for Dummies– people who are resilient, who are survivors.  He noted that hardy people grow stronger, happier and more competent over their lifetime (p. 73).  Dr. Gentry described the 3 “C’s” – control, commitment and challenge which are traits of hardy people.

People with control are masters of their own destiny and take ownership.  They have commitment which helps them have a sense of purpose.  Interestingly, on page 77 of Happiness for Dummies, Dr. Gentry described how cultural changes have caused people to become disenfranchised.  Some months ago I started to realize that so many people have become isolated — maybe due to the internet, texting, etc.  He speaks of the need for people to reconnect, which is a goal I have for the timetoplay site.  Last is challenge — Dr. Gentry described this as how people look at stress.  He noted that conflict creates missed opportunity, and instead of people considering situations a challenge, stress promotes negativity which creates the downward spiral we’ve read about in past threads.  Instead we should all see stress as opportunity.

I did love this statement:  Anything worth doing is worth doing well (p. 78).  I recently went to a training seminar where they used “The way you do anything is the way you do everything”.  It’s a really visual, though provoking statement.  It should make you strive to achieve.  I know I’ve implemented this into my thought process and have noticed a marked difference in my day. Happiness for Dummies is a great read for anyone!

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Embrace the timetoplay philosophy:  You have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to enjoy life.  It’s time to enjoy your life.  Be sure to check out timetoplay.com for resources for a better life.

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Happiness for Dummies – Chapter 5, Optimism

Is the glass half empty or half full? The pess...

Is the glass half empty or half full? The pessimist would pick half empty, while the optimist would choose half full. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So, we’ve heard about the power of positive thinking and optimism, or the “glass half full/half empty” mentality.  But, I didn’t really know all of the ramifications of having the half empty mentality.  It’s almost self-sabotaging.

Dr. Gentry provided a list and examples about optimism and the benefits of being optimistic, including the fact they are less likely to be compulsive gamblers (which I found quite interesting).  He also noted optimists set more goals to achieve, they reach for the stars, they are more confident.  I have to comment on this one.  Only recently have I started to have confidence.  Somewhere along the line I felt I wasn’t good enough.  How about you?  Does lack of confidence and optimism bring you down?  Dr. Gentry noted optimists solve problems better.  I always lived by a mantra that there’s a solution to every problem, but that’s not always what I followed.  You?  As you can see, it’s easy to go down the drain quickly and lose your optimism.  And there’s 2 pages of the bullet points of pessimists vs. optimists!  A few more…  Optimists are not quitters and welcome second chances.  Each day we wake up with a clean slate.  A chance to start over.  A land of new opportunity!  One more I’ll throw out there.  They’re not as lonely as pessimists are, and are more socially outgoing.  Interesting. . . this goes for relationships and meeting members of the opposite sex.  I’ve been blessed by having my husband for 24 years (and counting!), but so many people state “there’s no good ones out there”.  That definitely portrays negativity and pessimism as opposed to positivity and optimism, which eliminates opportunity.  Definitely something to consider, right?

Dr. Gentry included a quiz entitled “how optimistic are you”.  It’s interesting to read the questions and get the score.  If you are interested in this, I’d suggest purchasing the book and doing the quiz.

On p. 67 Dr. Gentry noted our futures are a self-fulfilling prophecy.  ”The attitudes you have today largely determine how things turn out tomorrow”.  This one was good, too:  Can’t never could.  He noted if you believe you can’t do something you will find a way to make sure you can’t!  ”The more you think failure, the more you fail – in school, at jobs, in relationships”.  (p. 67).

Did you ever hear the statement, “having a heavy heart”?  Dr. Gentry described a study of 1300 healthy men that found pessimists had 2x the risk of developing heart disease over a 10 year period compared to optimists. So not only does optimism lead to a healthy mind, it also leads to a healthy body.

Dr. Gentry noted any pessimist can unlearn – we may have become what we are due to circumstances, and sometimes our beliefs are a defense mechanism.  I know that was me.  We can all change — hence this timetoplay project.

Learn.  Get the tools you need.  Change. Bring optimism into your life. The world is beautiful.  It’s time we all see it that way.

# # #

Embrace the www.timetoplay.com philosophy — you have to be happy, healthy, have money and a work life balance to have quality of life.  It’s time to enjoy life!  Check out www.timetoplay.com for resources for a better life.

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