Love. Create. Learn. (Karen Garvey)

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I’ve been reading a book entitled The Answers by Karen Garvey for a few weeks now, fitting it in when I get a chance.  I have 2-3 chapters left, and then plan to go back to the pages I earmarked.  It’s very interesting and very thought provoking.  The main question that keeps coming to me is Why Are We Here?

What is your mission?  What are your goals?  What are your objectives?  Do you live with good intent?  Do you strive to be your best every day?  What do you plan to leave behind as your legacy?

I talk to people all the time.  Some people are go-getters with goals and visions and a clear mission where they are going in their life.  Some people are waiting for help, for people to take care of them, for the government to create a job, for someone to fix something.  Have people become complacent and unresourceful?

Empowerment.  That’s the goal of my “midlife crisis project”, www.timetoplay.com, — to provide resources for people to have a better life and for people to help people — people with resources or knowledge to plant a seed in others that have the potential to empower them to action.

During all my years working in healthcare, in quality improvement and in my own business, I realize that if you are not healthy, if you are not happy, if you do not have a good business, if you don’t have money, or if you are always working, you may not have a good quality of life.  After a lot of soul searching I realize it’s up to each individual to make positive changes.  Whether is health related or job related.  It’s up to you to make it happen.

What is my vision for www.timetoplay.com?  To have professionals provide information in any and every aspect that might help a person have quality of life.  To empower people.  To encourage people to make changes to take their life back.  For people to help people and for us to make things happen.

I’m looking for others to join me in my quest.  Do you have resources that can bring information to people?  Do you belong to a club or organization that others can join to build camaraderie and friendships, do you know of places where people can go to enjoy themselves, to learn, to smile.  Please check out the website and contribute — if all of us chip in something we can make amazing things happen.

So, why the pensiveness today?  Yesterday I spoke with a gentleman.  He is president of a business organization.  His dream.  I called him to get him on board for TimetoPlay.  He told me how his organization was failing.  He said it was because of the economy.  He said he no longer had staff in his office, he had to lay them off.  He was frustrated and wasn’t interested in helping others.  That business people today now have to concentrate on themselves to survive.  I was totally taken aback — until I thought about it today.  In business, or in any organization, you have to fill a need, whether it is a product or a service.  If you are failing there is a reason.  Blaming the economy isn’t it.  This gentleman may have lost site in what he is trying to achieve or the reason he started his organization in the first place.  So, I reflected on words that Karen recorded in The Answers — everyone is doing their best in a specific moment in time.  And, I realized, so is this gentleman.  When I hung up I had discarded his business card.  Why would I want to speak with someone who didn’t care about others?  This morning I retracted it from the trash and will email him and call him again.  I will reach out to him to see if he wants my help.  He has a dream for his organization and I don’t want to see him fail.  Maybe he won’t want me to help, maybe he won’t respond.  But, maybe, my effort will help him in some way.

I think this is how it is with all of us in some way.  Questioning why we are doing something, maybe sometimes losing site or focus.

I’m moving forward with www.timetoplay.com — I hope others join me.  It’s time to take back our lives and make things happen.

Doreen

Ugg. I Choked. Lesson Learned.

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So, I had a great opportunity yesterday.  I was on a live radio show to promote www.timetoplay.com — my “midlife crisis” project that had taken a good part of my life last year.  My passion.  My “pebble in the pond” to start the ripple to make a life better for — well, I’m shooting for everyone.

So, we get to the radio station early.  We talk to the interviewer.  I’m psyched and ready to go.  Since we were early he suggested we relax outside on the patio while we waited.  “Sure,” I said (as I’m always so accommodating).  What I should have said was “let me set up my stuff first and get all ready”.  Well, lesson learned.  At 2 minutes to 1 when we are supposed to go on the air, he comes out and said “let’s go”!  I’m not ready.  I’m scrambling.  “10 seconds!”  I still didn’t have my notes out.  I choked.  I couldn’t recover.  I couldn’t focus.

Lesson learned.  Throughout my life I’ve always been so accommodating to everyone.  Always trying to please – even if it was at my own expense.  Even if it didn’t make me happy.  Why?  Not sure.  But this is something many women do.  There are lots of articles on it.  We don’t say what we think.  We hold it in.  And then we become frustrated, sad, ruin relationships, become unhappy.

Lesson learned.  Next time I need to take more control.  Next time I need to say what I need in order to succeed.

OK.  I know it won’t happen.  I’ll be as accommodating as always.  But I will think about this experience and, hopefully, it will start to help me.

If anyone has suggestions on how to speak your mind or if anyone knows why we don’t (I think more so for women), I’d love to hear from you and to start a discussion on this.

In the very near future I’d like to start a podcast to help people through the www.timetoplay.com site — you know, to help provide the whole resources for a better life thing.  This might be a very good topic to cover.

Let me know what you think.  Comment here, call me 631-331-2675 or email @ info@timetoplay.com

Doreen

Just Do It! Maybe it's time to explore your passion . . .

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It’s starting already, and school is not even over yet.  Anyone who is a parent has heard this statement.  And, if you have never had your own children, you can even remember saying these words to your parents yourself.

My daughter, Jackie, is my youngest child.  She’s 16, and I realize it’s hard for people to make friends – not just kids, but adults, too.  I think it’s pretty hard out there now-a-days.  I believe that computers have caused us to become much more socially isolated.  And, where do you meet people anyway?  If kids don’t meet in school, is it hard for them to meet other places?  If adults don’t meet at work, where do you meet others – especially after the kids grow up and you have less activities that require our participation.

Jackie has an older boyfriend who does not attend her high school.  I think that has caused more social isolation for her.  Although I had encouraged her to join clubs in the beginning of the year, she did not want to do so.  She told me how the kids in her grade are “clicky”.   I explained that “clicky” isn’t necessarily “clicky”, but, as you get older, a way that people break into groups with similar interests.  For example, a person who loves motorcycles may join a motorcycle club or someone may join a yacht club because they love boating.

We had a pretty in-depth conversation about finding things you love to do – exploring a passion — for art, photography, dance.  Things that are of interest.  This is something that not only pertains to a 16 year old or a younger child, but an adult.

What do you love to do?  What have you always wanted to do?  I told Jackie to think about things she loved and things she may be interested in trying.  For example, she used to love dance class but hasn’t gone to lessons in many years.  Does she want to take dance lessons again?  Or, she had always been interested in paining.  Maybe a painting class?  An incidential benefit while she explores an interest may be her finding a person she likes and making a friend.

As we get older our passions may become buried.  So much responsibility — kids, work, taking care of things.  So little time for ourselves.  That’s why I started www.timetoplay.com.  To encourage people to take a little time out of their lives to enjoy themselves.  To explore a passion.  To see the beauty around them.  It doesn’t have to take much time, but what is life if you just go through each day without having any time to enjoy yourself?

Again, ask yourself, what do you love to do?  Many years ago I read a column by Ann Landers.  It encouraged me to complete my college education and Masters degree.  The writer said they didn’t have time.  They wanted to finish school but it would take 8 years.  Ann Landers answered where would that person be in 8 years if they didn’t finish.  That encouraged me to go back to school.  This principal can be implemented in everyone’s day to day life.  “I always wanted to learn guitar”, “I always wanted to go mountain climbing“, “I always wanted to write a poem”, “I always wanted to ____________”.

As I understood Ann’s statement, you’ll still be here (hopefully) whether you pursue what your heart desires or not.

Do it.  Don’t regret not accomplishing something you always wanted to do or achieve.

It is your “time to play”.

– Doreen

A Labor of Love

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Today is the day the www.timetoplay.com site “launches”.  It is finally done.  And the TimetoPlay van is rolling!

We’ve worked on this for over 10 months.  “It’s done”, I’d declare.  But, it was not done.  We’d go back to the drawing board, adding this, adding that.  This went on week after week, I’d think I was happy, but I was never satisfied.  www.timetoplay.com, my midlife crisis project, never was able to showcase what I was trying to convey.

Through persistence, and some tears, we finally were able to evolve the concept — Resources for a Better Life.  I swore Leta, my web designer and my friend, who has truly put up working with me since 2005, would come and kill me in my sleep.  But she hung in there, like a trooper, to change pages, links, words, forums, etc., almost weekly.

I’ve worked in healthcare since 1987.  I’ve seen sick and sad people and situations.  I’ve seen people rely on drugs to help them through everything.  I’ve seen people who had been prescribed to take 29 medications a day.  I’ve watched and read literature as our population increases in cardiac illness, diabetes, stress, depression.  And, most of all, where we, the working people, don’t have time left over while trying to get through our day to have quality of life, or had worked so hard all our lives that, at 70 years old, are trying to do everything  to enjoy life before it’s too late.  Luckily I had an epiphany before 70.  At 45 years old I realized I didn’t have quality of life, either — that’s how it started.  My midlife crisis project.  My way to give back.  My way to start the “pebble in the pond” and get people to work together, give resources, help charities and make our own lives better.  You never know how far the ripple will go.

My goal for www.timetoplay.com is to help people — to provide anything I can think of — and more will be added along the way — with resources they can utilize to create a better, happier, healthier life.

From finding something a simple event, to finding a club, to encouraging a person to do something they love or have always dreamed of doing.  And, to inspire them.  That is my ultimate goal.  Life is short.  Get out there.  Do it.  Take the “Pledge to Play” — take 10 minutes a day to do something you love.  It’s a start.

Check it out.  Let me know what you want to see.  We all need to enjoy life.  After all, it is now TimetoPlay.

With Love,

Doreen